1
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,600
Can I use your phone? Do you have
to ask? Of course you can use it.

2
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:25,620
DIALS NUMBER

3
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:29,020
Hello. Is that the dating agency?

4
00:00:30,220 --> 00:00:34,060
That's right. It's me again.
How did you guess?

5
00:00:34,060 --> 00:00:37,560
..Distinctive voice?
That could be an asset.

6
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,160
Have you got that on my particulars?

7
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:45,100
Have I had any replies?
..Still nothing.

8
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:50,280
Maybe we're aiming too high. Have you
looked through your ugly file?

9
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,480
Oh, you tried the uglies first.

10
00:00:56,860 --> 00:01:02,040
We're running out of options. There's
still things you can do. Such as?

11
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,900
You can pay me for that phone call.

12
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:07,120
Oh!

13
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,000
Lots of greens when you look.

14
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:52,120
Lots of Smiths and Joneses. It's
gonna be one of those days, is it?

15
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:58,840
I was thinking about death.
As long as you're not in a bad mood.

16
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:03,640
What brought it on was bumping into
Freddy Ridley yesterday.

17
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,680
How is he? He says he's dying.

18
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,760
He's been saying that for 20 years.

19
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,980
Obviously the man's serious
about it.

20
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:17,500
He's toying with the idea
of sneaking away from Mrs Ridley.

21
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:22,600
I bet she wasn't there. He wouldn't
dare mention dying if she was.

22
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:29,560
You're not suggesting he can't die
without her permission?! He never
goes anywhere without her permission.

23
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,880
How does he look?

24
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,640
Like somebody married to Mrs Ridley.

25
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:41,080
Poor lad. Maybe he is dying.

26
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:45,380
He loved her, even at school.

27
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:50,120
Long before she became Mrs Ridley,
she was a Doreen Phelps.

28
00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:56,040
He used to stand with his mouth open
in the playground

29
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,600
watching her doing cartwheels.

30
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,140
Bet she's not done that for a while!

31
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:06,220
The cartwheel queen of class three.
Never stood a chance, did he? No.

32
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:11,280
She'd got him roped and tied before
he'd worn out his first pocket knife.

33
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:18,300
When Doreen tucked her frock into
her knickers, that was her upside
down for the rest of playtime!

34
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:21,820
D'you know what's terrifying
about life?

35
00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:28,000
It's the fact that from a carefree,
long-limbed, playful Doreen Phelps...

36
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,940
could emerge a Mrs Ridley.

37
00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:35,860
How could poor old Freddy
ever spot that?

38
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:40,600
Especially when he'd probably
never seen her the right way up.

39
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,840
We think that butterflies go through
strange transformations,

40
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,320
but, wow! Mrs Ridley!

41
00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:03,220
You've got this frightening air
of confidence, Howard.

42
00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:07,060
A girl wonders if she'll be safe.
She will!

43
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:12,100
We'll hear a vehicle coming
for miles. And what we do is this.

44
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:22,100
Any passing motorist who sees
a bicycle in this position will just
assume we're mending a puncture.

45
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:25,920
You're so resourceful
in some directions, Howard.

46
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:30,400
It's just a gift. Oh, Howard!

47
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,940
Oh, Marina!

48
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:51,580
How do, Howard! Sorry to see thee
love life's sprung a leak again!

49
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:01,700
Hello! It's overnight express!

50
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:05,580
You don't pull a face like that
without practice!

51
00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:09,900
It can't be from overwork.
That's not much of a load.

52
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:15,100
You should've seen it when I started.
I can't find my last delivery.

53
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:20,080
What are you looking for? If you
must know, I'm looking for love.

54
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:27,020
Don't look at me. I've devoted
my life to idleness and pleasure.

55
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:32,460
And I hold his coat. I'm fed up
of a lonely bachelor existence.

56
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:38,080
It's no good telling us, Smiler!
Save it for people who wear frocks.

57
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,900
I never meet any. When do I ever meet
anybody who wears frocks?!

58
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:47,760
What you need is somebody
who'll overlook all your faults.

59
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,620
You know, somebody really peculiar.

60
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:55,860
Don't give up hope, Smiler. The world
is full of really peculiar people.

61
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,580
How do, lads?

62
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,980
You see? I told you.

63
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:29,320
Oh, Mr Truelove, you have experience
of strange things. At one time, yes,

64
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:34,160
but I divorced it.
My Barry keeps going upside down.

65
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:39,480
My auntie had a budgie did that.
Did they find a reason?

66
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,680
Yes. It was dead.

67
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,580
Oh!

68
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:48,260
You've got a great bedside manner(!)
Come and see for yourselves.

69
00:06:57,980 --> 00:07:01,840
You see? Upside down.

70
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,900
Yes. It looked better with feathers.

71
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:09,780
How long has your husband been
in the habit of going upside down?

72
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:14,300
I don't know. He only does it
when he thinks I'm not there.

73
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,860
You could ask him why he keeps going
upside down. I daren't.

74
00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:23,360
Suppose it's something fatal
he's trying to shelter me from.

75
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:28,620
His legs are a good colour, not
like the dead legs I used to see.

76
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:44,080
Barry, why were you upside down?!

77
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:48,620
Why are you bringing people round
to see me upside down?!

78
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:53,140
What will I tell me mother?!
Do you have to tell her?

79
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:57,160
Don't you think she'll notice
if you're upside down?

80
00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:02,500
I don't like interfering
in people's marital problems.

81
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:06,460
Agreed. Although I must admit,
that's a new one.

82
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:26,440
You've got faces like sore feet!

83
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,520
Have you considered taking
your business somewhere else?

84
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:37,140
Is there no good woman
who could ease the loneliness
of a still relatively young man?

85
00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:40,020
In your case, probably not.

86
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:46,060
YOUNG man?!
I could dye me hair,
do meself up a bit.

87
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:48,460
A LOT would be better.

88
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:53,060
Anyway, what's he depressed for?

89
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:57,020
Depressed?!
I'm too depressed to be depressed.

90
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,700
I passed depressed ages ago.

91
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:05,240
Me whole world's
just been demolished.

92
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,760
You know my associate - Mrs Avery?

93
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:11,780
Dotes on me, lives for me,
can't get enough of me.

94
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:14,300
She's just thrown me out.

95
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:27,480
- You can take that out!
- I can't. They get nicked.

96
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:31,380
There's a bond grows
between a man and his mount.

97
00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:36,860
Why have you got ONE roller skate?
Aren't they supposed to be a pair?

98
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:40,820
Lean it up in that corner...gently!

99
00:09:40,820 --> 00:09:43,760
And don't scratch me paintwork!

100
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,220
They'll be coming in
on motorcycles next!

101
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:56,060
You'd think anybody with a face
like that would have it surgically
removed. ..What's up with them?

102
00:09:56,060 --> 00:10:01,420
His world's collapsed and he wants
something to ease his loneliness.

103
00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:06,560
They need a pair of scooters.
What are you doing on a scooter?!

104
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,100
I'm in training for a challenge.

105
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:09,180
Some big-gob down our street
needs to learn who's numero uno
at scooter handling.

106
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:15,560
Never liked the wife, either.
Her tongue can give you
second-degree burns!

107
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,200
Here. Get that down you, lad.

108
00:10:29,180 --> 00:10:33,540
Can I ask you something...personal?
Ask away, lad.

109
00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:38,100
Did either of you ever have
midlife crisis?

110
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,820
They hadn't been invented then.

111
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:43,380
Besides, we couldn't afford them.

112
00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:47,920
We had to make do with
occasionally coming out in a rash.

113
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,040
At least there were no counsellors.
We just had ointment.

114
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:57,020
Do we gather that you're
in the middle of a midlife crisis?

115
00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:59,720
I am. I am. It's terrible.

116
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,700
That's why I keep going upside down.

117
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:07,620
It's yoga. I'm trying to
gain control of me inner self.

118
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:11,440
You mean it's running round loose
in there?!

119
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,360
Should you be upside down if it is?

120
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:19,840
I used to be steady and now I've got
a head full of disturbing fantasies.

121
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:24,660
Are you ready for this?
Ask him to bleep out the worst bits.

122
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:27,200
What kind of fantasies, lad?

123
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:32,240
Me life feels slow. I get these
urges for life in the fast lane.

124
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,480
And yoga's supposed to stop this?
They say it does.

125
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,380
If you concentrate,
you can empty your mind.

126
00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:43,400
Have you tried daytime television?

127
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:50,380
And why does this concentrating
have to be upside down?
Oh, that's just one position.

128
00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:55,580
There are dozens, but some are
so alien to occidental legs,

129
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:58,360
you could strain yourself mortally.

130
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,220
At least I can manage upside down.

131
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:13,490
You see some funny positions in
the vice squad, but I've never heard
a defence plea of yoga.

132
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:18,110
THEY PANT

133
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:23,490
Who's feeling better? There's
nothing like moving a bit nimbly,

134
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:28,430
especially when you've eaten
a hot chip. How do you feel now?

135
00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:30,970
Terrible. Hate it.

136
00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:36,170
I don't know where Robin Hood found
his merry men, but it wasn't here!

137
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:47,350
Shop!
Just a minute!

138
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:53,790
It'll do thee good to have
a bit of contact with un-depressed,
normal human beings.

139
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:06,530
You call that normal?!
You hear about these funny pubs.
Didn't used to be THIS funny!

140
00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:15,710
Is it some secret ceremony? Does it
involve the sacrifice of a barmaid?

141
00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:19,870
It's Barry. He's in midlife crisis.

142
00:13:19,870 --> 00:13:22,790
I know the feeling. And me.

143
00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:29,810
Why is everybody depressed when
we have our health and possibly even
somebody who's about to buy a round?

144
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:39,330
If it was money he was after,
you can see why Robin Hood
had to go to Nottingham.

145
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:45,930
Keep an eye on the lad if he's going
funny. I wouldn't say funny.

146
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:52,790
If he keeps going upside down,
it's close enough. There's probably
a good explanation. Always,

147
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:56,290
but in my experience,
it's usually a lie.

148
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:04,970
You call that not going funny?!
It's not all that funny, Mother.

149
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:08,410
You won't find other grown-ups
on scooters.

150
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:17,590
SHE MOUTHS

151
00:14:21,330 --> 00:14:23,890
CRASH!

152
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:27,330
That's interesting.
A drive-through pub!

153
00:14:32,710 --> 00:14:37,710
Why do people keep bringing me this
load of misery?! Look at them!

154
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:42,690
Barry's in midlife crisis
and he's lost his inner tube.

155
00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:49,170
Inner SELF! I have this urge
to live in the fast lane.

156
00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:52,090
You've just been on a scooter!

157
00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:56,170
What's your excuse?
What's wrong with you?

158
00:14:56,170 --> 00:15:00,610
I'm homeless. I'll be living
in an old garden shed.

159
00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:05,030
Me father lived in an old
garden shed. He lived in a house!

160
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,750
But the decor was old garden shed.

161
00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:12,810
I think all this misery
could've started with Smiler.

162
00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:15,810
Maybe Smiler's become contagious.

163
00:15:18,110 --> 00:15:24,090
Smiler, the authorities will have to
class you as an notifiable disease.

164
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:29,530
My trouble is I'm fed up of living
alone. Could I make a suggestion?

165
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,850
Not if it's from the fast lane.

166
00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:38,750
Mr Simmonite's homeless
and Smiler's fed up of living alone,

167
00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:44,470
so why don't they...?
I'd sooner have the old garden shed!

168
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:48,190
I was thinking of a female
moving in with me.

169
00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:53,190
Tom could get you one of those.
Is he any good with the ladies?

170
00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:56,890
He's the number-one bird puller
in the area.

171
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:59,430
Who was telling me that recently?

172
00:15:59,430 --> 00:16:03,250
Probably Tom. It's just a gift.

173
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:08,550
Why don't you fetch your things, Tom?

174
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:12,510
We'll have a bachelor pad -
just the two of us.

175
00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:15,030
You can bring your lady friends.

176
00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:17,890
You realise it'd only be temporary.

177
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:22,290
Absolutely. You'll have to go
as soon as Mrs Right come along.

178
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:27,470
Well, that's two sorted.
What about him?

179
00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:31,930
At the risk of seeming to pry,
which, of course, I am,

180
00:16:31,930 --> 00:16:35,370
what have you got your mind set on,
Barry?

181
00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:40,350
I thought I was happy until I saw...

182
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:43,410
her. I knew it!

183
00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:50,710
Oh, dear!
Wanting two women is like
wanting pneumonia twice!

184
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,230
What's she like, this, er...?

185
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:58,810
I'll show you a picture. They've
got as far as swapping pictures!

186
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:04,370
Look at that. Look at them lines.
Isn't she beautiful?

187
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:07,110
Oh.

188
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:11,950
She's a relief, is what she is!
We thought she was a female.

189
00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:17,070
She is a female. You can't think
she's a male with lines like that.

190
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,670
You're a good lad, Barry.

191
00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:24,170
I'm not. I'm being unfaithful
to a great little car.

192
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:27,790
I've got this terrible urge
for something faster.

193
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:32,370
I must get on. I'm in training
for this challenge match.

194
00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:37,010
What match? To show some big-gob
who's best man on a scooter.

195
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:40,130
Your wife's taken up scooting,
has she?

196
00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:43,850
No. Some other big-gob.

197
00:18:19,710 --> 00:18:22,170
Is this what you're looking for?

198
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:28,290
Barry? What's wrong with Barry?

199
00:18:28,290 --> 00:18:32,490
Midlife crisis.
He wants to live in the fast lane.

200
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:36,050
The Barry that's married
to my Glenda?!

201
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:38,610
Sounds like a fair description.

202
00:18:38,610 --> 00:18:43,710
The newsflash is he's developing
this lust for speed. Our Barry?!

203
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:48,750
We thought you might come up with
something that'd put him off speed.

204
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:51,210
It's funny you should say that.

205
00:18:56,210 --> 00:19:00,030
How about this? He's done that.
Not impressed.

206
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:02,570
He's not done this one.

207
00:19:02,570 --> 00:19:06,070
This one's got a motor on it.
Is she fast?

208
00:19:06,070 --> 00:19:10,590
Don't ask me. I've been waiting
for some idiot to try it.

209
00:19:10,590 --> 00:19:15,010
You've got one in the family!
Could be just the thing.

210
00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:20,630
How do I know you're any good
at pulling the birds?

211
00:19:20,630 --> 00:19:23,210
How do I know you can cook?

212
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:27,590
Don't spoil our relationship
with this suspicious nature.

213
00:19:27,590 --> 00:19:30,650
Well, I've only got your word for it.

214
00:19:30,650 --> 00:19:35,970
You want a demonstration? First bird
that comes round that corner.

215
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:44,290
Well, maybe the second bird
that comes round that corner.

216
00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:48,350
No. No backing out now.
You said the first.

217
00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:52,850
Let's see you in action.
Oh, you drive a hard bargain.

218
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:04,590
(All right!)

219
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:11,890
I couldn't help but notice
how beautiful you are...

220
00:20:11,890 --> 00:20:14,570
Oh, Tom!

221
00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:31,130
Looks like you might not need
your bicycle.

222
00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:39,990
But you used to love this car.
That was the old me.

223
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:43,530
This car's too comfortable, safe,
reliable.

224
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:48,970
I want the motoring equivalent of
a wild stallion, muscle and danger.

225
00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:53,410
But, Barry, I like the old you.
That's tough, kid.

226
00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:58,630
You'll have to get used to the new
me, the fast-lane me. Oh, Barry!

227
00:20:58,630 --> 00:21:05,470
I knew things were going wrong
when you wouldn't wear
those new flannelette pyjamas.

228
00:21:05,470 --> 00:21:07,890
ENGINE REVS

229
00:21:07,890 --> 00:21:10,510
D'you think it might be dangerous?

230
00:21:10,510 --> 00:21:13,170
Oh, aye, it might be dangerous.

231
00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:17,130
Wesley's very calm
in the face of danger.

232
00:21:18,330 --> 00:21:21,690
I'm an engineer. We're noted for it.

233
00:21:21,690 --> 00:21:26,710
You're quite prepared to let your
son-in-law test this machine?

234
00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:30,810
Sooner him than me.
Well, if he lives for speed...

235
00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:33,010
If he lives!

236
00:21:40,070 --> 00:21:43,970
Wow! That Marina - she's dangerous.

237
00:21:48,310 --> 00:21:50,890
More dangerous than this?

238
00:21:52,370 --> 00:21:55,810
You must be joking.
That's a pussycat!

239
00:21:56,910 --> 00:22:00,630
How would you like to road-test
this pussycat?

240
00:22:00,630 --> 00:22:04,410
After what I've just gone through,
no problem.

241
00:22:14,070 --> 00:22:16,790
You've got one or two nice pieces.

242
00:22:16,790 --> 00:22:19,610
Are you buying, or just admiring?

243
00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:24,450
Have you ever tried bringing your
prices into line with reasonableness?

244
00:22:24,450 --> 00:22:27,970
I tried it when I was young
and stupid.

245
00:22:27,970 --> 00:22:33,510
I won't tell you what I tried when
I was young and stupid. I've heard.

246
00:22:33,510 --> 00:22:35,890
Oh, really?

247
00:22:38,010 --> 00:22:42,730
Have you anything to take my Barry's
mind off fast machines?

248
00:22:42,730 --> 00:22:46,650
I'm sorry, love.
I'm fresh out of other women.

249
00:22:46,650 --> 00:22:51,470
Mind you, if demand picks up,
I suppose I could arrange something.

250
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:55,830
I didn't know your Barry was one
for fast machines.

251
00:22:55,830 --> 00:22:59,890
I didn't either.
He's having a midlife crisis.

252
00:22:59,890 --> 00:23:03,970
And all he's interested in
is fast machines?

253
00:23:03,970 --> 00:23:07,830
Believe me,
it could be a lot worse, love.

254
00:23:07,830 --> 00:23:12,470
Have you ever thought of giving him
a bit of competition?

255
00:23:12,470 --> 00:23:17,250
How would he feel if you suddenly
became interested in speed?

256
00:23:25,010 --> 00:23:30,570
Why can't I do it? It's your turn in
a minute. Completely reckless, him!

257
00:23:30,570 --> 00:23:34,650
That's the way life's going to be
from now on.

258
00:23:34,650 --> 00:23:40,250
Now, Tom, make it look frightening
and dangerous. Put our Barry off.

259
00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:45,290
What d'you mean, make it LOOK
dangerous?! It IS dangerous!

260
00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:50,930
You caught me at a weak moment, when
I was still giddy from no Marina.

261
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:56,030
Stop before you get to the stream.
I'd already decided that.

262
00:23:56,030 --> 00:24:01,710
Is he gonna do it, or are we gonna
be here all day?! Oh, listen to it!

263
00:24:01,710 --> 00:24:04,370
Any last wishes, Tom?

264
00:24:05,430 --> 00:24:08,290
Yes. I wish Barry was doing it!

265
00:24:08,290 --> 00:24:13,370
I'll do it! Come 'ere.
He's only joking, Tom.

266
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:15,850
ENGINE STARTS

267
00:24:27,790 --> 00:24:31,530
Looks like fun, Barry. I can't wait.

268
00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:38,230
I know it's not easy to forecast,
but is Tom going to go in the water?

269
00:24:38,230 --> 00:24:41,530
He'll stop before he gets there.
Oh.

270
00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:51,930
He got that bit wrong, didn't he?

271
00:24:53,270 --> 00:24:55,850
Looks like it's time for the A Team.

272
00:24:58,490 --> 00:25:01,050
I can't go out like this!

273
00:25:01,050 --> 00:25:05,290
Wear your helmet.
Who's gonna recognise you?

274
00:25:05,290 --> 00:25:08,950
She no longer looks like
the average housewife.

275
00:25:08,950 --> 00:25:13,410
You'll certainly get
Barry's attention this time.

276
00:25:13,410 --> 00:25:18,070
Do you think so, Auntie Roz?
I'll stake my reputation on it.

277
00:25:18,070 --> 00:25:20,530
Can't you do better than that?!

278
00:25:29,150 --> 00:25:34,690
He's gonna go through the stream and
up the other side. He's determined.

279
00:25:34,690 --> 00:25:38,650
Not to mention crackers.
ENGINE REVS

280
00:25:53,430 --> 00:25:57,710
Glenda likes him in one piece.
I hope nothing's come off.

281
00:25:57,710 --> 00:26:00,990
That should've cured him. Cured me?!

282
00:26:00,990 --> 00:26:04,010
It's great! It's just the beginning.

283
00:26:04,010 --> 00:26:07,550
If you don't get it right,
you try again.

284
00:26:07,550 --> 00:26:10,290
I'm gonna be Evil Knievel!

285
00:26:10,290 --> 00:26:15,710
Barry the Bold! I'll shall probably
break every bone in me body!

286
00:26:15,710 --> 00:26:18,730
No, details, please!
HORN HONKS

287
00:26:30,490 --> 00:26:32,630
Glenda?!

288
00:26:32,630 --> 00:26:35,150
I've come to join you, Barry.

289
00:26:35,150 --> 00:26:39,550
You were right.
We'll have a life of speed together,

290
00:26:39,550 --> 00:26:42,930
both of us in the fast lane!

291
00:26:42,930 --> 00:26:48,770
You can't go about dressed like
that! I work for a building society.

292
00:26:48,770 --> 00:26:51,770
But what about speed, Barry?

293
00:26:52,890 --> 00:26:56,850
We'll do it indoors.
I'll buy a train set.

294
00:27:27,970 --> 00:27:30,850
What were you doing with that Tom?

295
00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:34,670
I wasn't doing anything,
except being friendly.

296
00:27:34,670 --> 00:27:37,570
There's such a thing as TOO friendly.

297
00:27:42,710 --> 00:27:46,250
He won't beat me next time,
the big-gob.

298
00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:51,530
He'll cheat if you take your eyes
off him. This man's ready for a pint.

299
00:27:51,530 --> 00:27:56,330
Do I hear two?
It's his legs. You can't fill them.

300
00:27:56,330 --> 00:27:58,850
Any time, Mr Hardcastle.

301
00:28:13,270 --> 00:28:17,730
Subtitles by Neil Gemmill
BBC Scotland - 2002